


Promise Me

by curtishoyle (mind_boggling)



Category: The Punisher (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2019-02-17 02:12:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13066968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mind_boggling/pseuds/curtishoyle
Summary: Posting on behalf of my wonderful friend Marie @tpasvines on Twitter.





	Promise Me

At the end of the session, they're both standing by the coffee machine. Everyone else has already left. Curtis hands him a mug, a thin smile on his lips.

“I know you probably don't want to hear that, but I'm proud of you, Frank. That was one hell of a speech.”

Frank gives a small chuckle.

“Well, I kind of feel like I owed you that, at least."

“You don't owe me shit, Castle, Curtis says. You saved my damn life.”

He wants to reply that they could have easily been blew up both if the kid had been lying, but decides not to. He doesn't want to go there again; thinking about the whole Lewis thing makes him angry. Curtis takes a sip of coffee then adds: “I've never thanked you for this. For this, and for joining my group."

“Don't have to, brother— “

Suddenly, Frank feels the big arms of his friend over his shoulders and can't help but stays completely still. He's not used to hugs. Damn, he never will be. After a few seconds, he gives him an awkward pat on the back and then Curtis finally let go. When he looks at his friend's eyes again, they're teary.

“So," Curtis says, with his usual cheery tone. "Same time, next week?"

“Sure. See you then.”

Frank is not certain to be here next week but no need to worry his friend with that now. Plus, the therapy sessions aren't as hard as he would have imagined. There's something about opening up to a bunch of strangers; something he hadn't felt in years. Something like— relief. Yes, that's it. The sessions give him relief. He should be the one thanking Curtis because hell, even though he still can't quite admit it to himself, he's in big need of it.

Since the CIA decided to set him free, Frank lives in a small flat, in a building full of noisy neighbors, under the Pete Castiglione alias. It's better than his last place because at least, he gets to have hot water and a functional heater. Tonight though, the building seems rather quiet. Still, he can't find sleep. His book is boring and he keeps reading the same line over and over again. After an hour or so, he finally decides to dress up and go outside for some fresh air. As usual, he finds escape on the deserted roof. He just sits there, listening to the sound of cars and the voices of late party-goers. The sky is dark and without stars, the full-moon glowing like a giant orb over New York City. The kind of night that seems endless.

He finally allows himself to think of her. She appears in his mind with a sweet smile on her lovely face, her eyes big and bright, her hair smelling like vanilla and musk. The echoes of her voice, her laugh, rings in his ears and just like that, he feels the tears coming and starts fighting them. But that's a combat he knows damn well he will always loose. Then, he starts panicking because the expression on his wife's face changes abruptly. Now she's alone and scared and he wants to help, but he can't. He can't do anything at all. And that just kills him.

**

“Honey? Are you coming?”

“Just a minute.”

Frank is lying on the bed, his face buried into her pillow. The kids have been asleep for a while now, and Maria is in the bathroom. They all had a big day. This morning, he returned home to surprise his wife and kids after having spent months in Afghanistan for a mission. The smile on their faces when they've seen him has instantly erased all the bad memories he had in mind then. After the family reunion, Maria has decided to invite some of their friends for a barbecue and they all spent the afternoon in the garden, eating hamburgers and sipping beers and white wine, while the kids played together on the swing. Curtis and Billy were here too. The latter has brought a pretty woman he had just met with him and Frank has taken advantage of the occasion to spoof his best friend and speak loudly about marriage and commitment in front of the couple.

Thinking about this makes him happy. Part of him wants his friend to finally set up with someone and be happy, but the other can't just imagine Billy Russo as a family man. He'll probably always be the Casanova he knows well and that's fine because he fits the role perfectly.

Maria is still in the bathroom. He can see her looking at her own reflection in the mirror. She's wearing a silk beige nightgown and her right hand is on her left breast. With an amused grin on his face, Frank get off the bed and walks toward her. When she sees him, she almost jumps and he doesn't like what he sees on her beautiful face. Fear.

“Hey babe, what's wrong?" he asks gently, trying his best not to panic.

She turns to him and smiles, but that smiles seems forced. “Oh, nothing. Probably nothing, I've just...” She looks at the mirror again, bits her lip, and then, the worried expression on her face is back. Frank puts a hand on her shoulder, his heart pumping fast over his chest. He feels his wife shiver at his touch. “I think— I think I've felt a lump in my breast” Maria says, looking at him in the mirror.

Oh no. A feeling of emptiness travels his body. Suddenly, it's like the whole world has turned dark. He opens his mouth to say something, to reassures her, but there's nothing. The words are struggling in his throat. “Wh—Where?” he finally manages to say.

Maria takes his hand and puts it on her left breast. At first, he feels nothing, but then she moves his hand on the upper side and there it is, a quite large and hard bump on her soft skin that rolls under his fingers. They had sex earlier, how the hell did he misses that? It must be about two inches!

He takes his hand off hers and curses under his breath.

“It's probably just a cyst, Frank," Maria says after a while.

“You need to see a doctor. We can go right now, I—"

“It's half-past midnight, honey, what are you talking about? I— I'll make an appointment tomorrow, okay? Let's go to bed, now, we're both tired.”

She returns to the bedroom but he doesn't follow her. He's just remembered that three years ago, Maria's mother has had breast cancer and that she almost died from it. The souvenirs are still intact in his mind— his previously robust and athletic mother-in-law who has turned into a skinny, pale and frail woman, way too tired to get out of bed, within only two months of chemo. Hell, he doesn't want that to happen to his wife. It's not even conceivable.

He goes to bed, lies against her and rolls a arm over her chest. He buries his face into her hair, her beautiful hair, and take a deep breathe, enjoying their vanilla smell, marking it in his memory as if it was the last time. It's not conceivable. Without her, he'd be lost. Life wouldn't mean a goddamn thing anymore.

“Frank?" Maria whispers in the darkness of the room.

“Mmm?"

“I'm going to say this once. Do not give up if something happens to me, okay? The kids need you.”

He lets go of her abruptly and straightens on the bed as if he has been electrified.

“Wh— No, Maria. No, I don't want to talk about that, please—"

“I'm just warning you," she says as she leans against her pillow. "I know you, Frank.”

He can't help but shakes his head and repeats “no” over and over. Maria takes his hand into hers.

“Promise me.”

Her voice is calm and sweet. She's not crying. Frank looks at her with disbelief. How can she say something like that? If something happens to me. There's no way someone or something could take her away from him. Not even the damn cancer. He won't ever let that happen. He won't—

“Promise me," she repeats, her eyes buried in his.

“Why— why are we having this conversation, huh?" he chokes, his head tilting nervously on the left.

“Because, I want to make sure you won't languish over me forever if it turns out I'm sick. The kids need to grow up in a stable environment."

“I— I can't fucking do that, Maria, not right now, please. You— you can't force me!”

She laughs, and it's the most beautiful thing he's ever heard. Now the tears are all over her smiling face and she sits and rests her forehead against his. She passes a hand on his neck, forcing him to approach.

“Remember what you say to me before, every time you're about to leave for a mission?"

“It's not the same—"

“Yes, it is. It is, Frank. Don't you think I've never considered what my life would be if something happened to you down there?"

“Maria—"

“'Don't stay alone. The only thing I ask you is to not forget about me', that's what you've said to me last time, right? And even though I can't imagine myself with someone else than you, I— I've accepted the fact that life can be unpredictable and that if something were meant to happen, I would respect your desires. Okay?”

She kisses him on the corner of his lips and he can taste the salt of her tears.

“Now, promise me you will respect mine, Frank. Can you do that for me? ”

He meets her pleading eyes and his heart sinks deep into his chest. It hurts like hell, but at last, he manages to mouth the word “yes” for her. She smiles.

“Thank you. I love you."

“I love you too.”

They end up hugging and crying in the total silent of the night, their heartbeats at the same rate, their breathing slow and low, their minds full of things they'll never say to each other. And then they finally fall asleep, their bodies pressed against each other, their dreams made of fear and love and hope.

**

It's almost four A.M and Frank is still sitting on the roof, watching New York sleeps. He doesn't really know what made him think of that specific moment of his past life. Since now, he had tried to bury all of this deep down in his mind. He's suffered enough without his brain to randomly reminds him of things he promised to his wife, of things that doesn't count anymore now that she and the kids are gone. But still. Tonight, it's all he can think about — this promise he made to Maria. 

Back then, he was scared shitless for the health of his wife that he didn't know better than to say yes, but when the lump in her breast turned out to be just a benign tumor, he had chosen to put a final dot to that conversation about death and moving on, and to bury it into the depth of his scarred mind. Then they've never talked about this again, until the thing he feared the most eventually happened. 

And since, his life has been nothing but an endless dark tunnel, he has seen blood, and death, and sorrow. He has experienced betrayal, pain, he has lost everything but his thirst of revenge. This is what kept him alive. Knowing that all of these bastards has suffered as much as he does before meeting their maker is what makes everyday a little more bearable. 

Today though, he doesn't feel as lonely as he used to. As crazy as it must sound, he has managed to make some friends. There's Curtis Hoyle of course, his old pal, the true brother he didn't knew he needed until the recent events. There's the Liebermans, with their messy lives, their strong connection, their endless love and care for each other. The kind of beautiful, imperfect family that puts all of others to shame.

And then—

And then, there's Karen Page. The fearless reporter with a heart of gold. Just thinking about her makes him shiver and he hates himself for that. Damn, he owes her so much. Although, she seems to attract all kind of dangerous situations which is a hell to deal with. A ridiculous grin appears on his lips and when he notices it, he looks around himself as if the roof was crowded with people laughing at him. But of course, there's no one here, so he just sighs.

When she looks at him with her big blue eyes that reminds him of the color of the sky on a beautiful day, he just wants to punch himself hard for feeling those damn sparkles on his stomach. Because he shouldn't be feeling this kind of things for a woman that is not his wife. Because, even though he made a promise to Maria, he can't just let go of her that easy. Because she didn't die of an illness or an accident— she was murdered, alongside their own children. Why would he allow himself to feel a bit of happiness when the lives of his loved ones have been shattered, when all of their dreams and hopes have been violently taken away from them?

_I want to make sure you won't languish over me forever. Promise me._

Still, Karen exists in his life. Sure, he could erase her number from his phone, he could tell her to never try to contact him again but— But. He just can't. She's probably one of the rare people that get him, that know how to make him smile, that doesn't try to change his views on things or his way of dealing with the death of his family. He can't deny the bond that tie them together. He felt it again on that elevator.

So, maybe there's a possibility. Maybe.

Frank looks up at the starless sky and suddenly realizes how exhausted he is. Slowly, he stands up then returns to his apartment. He then lies on his bed. Sleep is quick to come. He dreams about Maria and for the first time in a while, the dream doesn't turn into a nightmare. 

It's just perfect, and beautiful and quiet, just as it should be.


End file.
